


When One Plus One Equals Three

by gayyyluigi



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: (well kind of but not really), Birth, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Papa Bird AU, Surprise Birth, Surprise pregnancy, Trans Male Character, Trans Oswald Cobblepot, birth scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 20:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12490028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayyyluigi/pseuds/gayyyluigi
Summary: Based on a couple of scenarios from the askoswaldandedward blog on tumblr!





	When One Plus One Equals Three

Oswald had, over the past few months, been feeling a bit… odd. His complaints were things he had chalked up to his age: soreness and fatigue, an aching back, becoming a bit (ok, a lot) more cranky, leg cramps, insomnia, shortness of breath, a more frequent need to use the restroom, et cetera. After all, Oswald was no spring chicken, and he knew that fact very well. Despite him having a young and spry lover, his dear Edward, Oswald was getting on in years, like it or not. And so, his symptoms, although irritating, didn’t really cause him much concern. They were things that were to be expected once one reached the status of “over the hill”, right? There were moments, that he’d had concerns, especially when it felt like his insides were moving about, but he had chalked that one up to indigestion and opted to simply ignore it.

 

However, Oswald’s presumption that things were fine were… misguided. The reality of the matter was that Oswald had fallen pregnant at the hands of his young lover.

 

Of course, it’s not like Oswald had been anticipating ever having the capability of becoming pregnant. Though he was transgender, he had thought that menopause had taken hold of his body years ago. There just hadn’t been any real reason for them to protect themselves, at least in his mind. He and Edward were both clean, and had been tested to ensure such, so if his “parts” were now lying dormant, why would he ever need to insist on protection? Well… the phrase “never say never” certainly held true here.

 

Due to Oswald’s lack of knowledge of what was going on within his body, even in the days leading up to his delivery, he couldn’t have known what to expect. He had thought that his Braxton-Hicks were simply digestive issues or something of the sort, so he had continued to diligently work at his lounge, despite his state of discomfort. After all, business never took a break, so why should he? There were exceptions, of course: severe illness, holidays, vacations, and the like… but a case of stomach cramps wasn’t going to keep Oswald from working!

 

The day of the delivery, however, Oswald had been feeling exceptionally unwell, for obvious reasons. He’d been sore, irritable, in pain, and overall unlike himself. He still forced himself to put on a friendly smile and attend to his customers, however. He had to take breaks from time to time to lean against something and try to breathe through a contraction, or stand in front of the artificially cooled penguin enclosure in the center of the Lounge to try and cool down his overheated body, but he still did his very best to keep up a good face throughout it all. That was, until a server came up behind him during a particularly strong contraction where Oswald was leaning heavily against the railing in front of the enclosure, face twisted in agony as he tried to keep himself breathing.

 

“Mr. Cobblepot, sir?” the young woman, whose stage name was Dove (though if Oswald remembered correctly, her real name was Carolyn), spoke up as she placed a gentle hand on Oswald’s lower back. Oswald hissed at the contact at first, then relaxed as he realized it was just one of his lounge girls, looking to her expectantly. “Sir, you… don’t look like you’re feeling too well. Perhaps you should go take a break in your office?” Her eyes were full of genuine concern. Oswald was always sure to ensure the safety and happiness of his employees, by doing everything from paying them a fair wage to giving them flexible hours to giving them their stage names so that guests couldn’t stalk them in their lives outside the Lounge, and his successful efforts showed in the way she seemed to be legitimately distressed by her employer’s state. “If you need, I can call an ambulance, sir.”

 

“No… hhh… that won’t be necessary, my dear,” Oswald breathed, voice strained as the contraction finally came to an end. He stood up as straight as he could manage, giving the young woman a reassuring smile. “Just a bit of an upset stomach, I’m afraid. No need to bother emergency services when a swig of Pepto Bismol will do. But… if you could help me to my office, it would be much appreciated.” Truth be told, with the massive pressure Oswald was feeling on his pelvis, he did need someone to help him up the stairs. He just simply didn’t think he could make it on his own.

 

Dove nodded, giving a worried smile as she hooked her arm in Oswald’s. “Yes sir, Mr. Cobblepot. Lean against me as much as you need… I’m right here for you.” She gently guided Oswald up the stairs, letting him lean against her and stop to catch his breath whenever he needed. She had suggested that they take the elevator, but considering his embarrassment about tonight’s behavior, Oswald’s pride had been too great to further humiliate himself.

 

Once they reached Oswald’s office, Dove opened the door for Oswald, eyes full of sympathy. “Do you need anything, Mr. Cobblepot? I can fetch you some water, or call someone to pick you up, or even just stay with you to make sure you’ll be ok…” Oswald couldn’t help but tut gently, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Dove’s ear.

 

“Oh, dear one… You truly have a kind heart,” Oswald spoke softly, a fatherly fondness gleaming in his eyes. “I’m sure I’ll be quite fine, my gentle Dove. Thank you so much for the help… but I’m sure I can handle it from here.” He leaned up to kiss her on the forehead gently, giving the girl a reassuring smile. “You can tell the others that I’ll be quite alright. I trust you all to handle the Lounge in my absence… you have never let me down in times of need!”

 

In a way, Oswald saw his lounge girls as daughters. Despite the sexualized uniform that was implemented to draw Gotham’s spendier customers to the Lounge, Oswald never really looked at the girls that way. Instead, he saw them as his charges, wanting to take care of them despite the inhospitable city they all lived and worked in. Even whenever a girl finally left the nest, so to speak, as long as it wasn’t amidst disrespect or poor conduct, they went with Oswald’s blessing, and he often put in a good word for them wherever their endeavors took them, and even kept up with them throughout the years. Oswald truly cared about his girls, and the fact that they cared about him too always touched his heart.

 

Dove frowned, smoothing Oswald’s hair gently. “If you say so, Mr. Cobblepot… We’ll make sure the place is run to your standards in your absence.” She kissed him on the cheek, then took her leave despite still being observably concerned for Oswald’s well-being.

 

As Dove departed, Oswald took in a sharp breath, another contraction hitting him hard. He couldn’t help but be appreciative that the pain had waited for her departure to return, as he had little desire to worry her any further. He quickly retreated into his office, breathing ragged as he closed and locked the door behind him before hobbling over to the couch to rest his weary, aching feet. As he sat on the couch, all of a sudden, the pressure increased noticeably, and he felt a popping sensation in his lower abdomen. Then, it was like a floodgate had burst within him, a surge of liquid gushing from his nethers and practically soaking the couch.

 

Oswald gasped sharply at the gush of fluid, his cheeks flushing a bright red. Had he just… wet himself? No, the fluid didn’t smell like anything other than a peculiar faint sweetness… and somehow, it had caused the pain he was feeling to suddenly ramp up. Oswald cried out, curling in on himself and clutching his stomach, tears burning at the corners of his eyes as he clenched them tightly closed. Whatever was pressing down on his pelvis pressed down even harder, as if something was attempting to come out of him.

 

Bitterly, Oswald internally noted that this was almost like a stereotypical Hollywood birth scene. At that revelation, his eyes shot wide open and he stared down at his stomach in utter shock. It couldn’t be… right? That ship had sailed years ago! But then again, how else was he to explain away the movement he had been feeling inside of him…? All the mood swings, the soreness, the peculiar food taste he had developed some months ago… suddenly, it all clicked into place. Oswald went as pale as a sheet, scrabbling to get his pants and underwear off. He tossed them to the side, then as a test, he carefully stuck a finger inside himself to see if he could feel anything. Sure enough, his cervix was dilated, and though it he could feel the soft, damp hair of an infant.

 

Oswald recoiled, his stomach turning as he hurriedly wiped his finger off as if trying to rid himself of the feeling would erase the situation. He darted over to his desk, grabbing the wastebin under it and retching, the knowledge of the situation causing him to be ill in sheer shock. He sobbed harshly, tears now rolling down his cheeks as he tried to grapple with what was happening to him. As the contraction worsened, Oswald scampered back to the comfort of the couch, weeping openly as his body strained, preparing for him to push out the infant currently pressing down heavily against his cervix.

 

Now deep in a panic, Oswald grasped for his cellphone, pulling up his speed dial and calling Edward. His hands shaking, he held the phone to his ear, desperately praying that his lover would pick up. Finally, much to his relief, he heard Edward’s sweet voice pick up on the other end.

 

“Oswald? What’s up? Aren’t you working right now?” Edward asked, audibly confused. Oswald was usually pretty strict on his stance about personal phone calls during work… there weren’t supposed to be any. He always said that if there was an emergency, to call the Lounge’s main line, and he always kept his phone either powered down or on silent during work hours. Needless to say, having a call from Oswald was the last thing that Ed had expected.

 

“Eddie-- I-I’m sorry, I just--” Oswald let out a pained whine as the contraction’s grip tightened momentarily before the pain finally faded. His chest heaved harshly as he sobbed, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “E-Eddie, I need you to come up here. NOW.”

 

“Os?!” Edward exclaimed, fear creeping into his voice as he heard Oswald’s pained voice. “Ozzie, what’s wrong?!” Now Ed KNEW that there was something wrong. “Are you ok?!”

 

“N-not exactly…!” Oswald whimpered, rubbing tears from his cheeks as they fell. “I-- Eddie, I’m--” Oswald bit his lip, shaking his head. He had been about to tell Edward that he was having a baby, but… he just couldn’t find the courage. “Y-you wouldn’t believe me I told you… j-just, please…! H-hurry…!”

 

“I-I’m on my way, just… be calm, love!!” Edward responded, his voice cracking in anxiety as he hung up the phone.

 

Oswald let out a breath of relief as Ed stated that he was on his way. However, the relief was short-lived as another contraction hit him hard. The pressure increased to an unbearable level, and Oswald’s body suddenly screamed for him to bear down. Oswald yelped, spreading his legs and bearing down hard in response to his body’s instruction. Already, he could feel the baby’s head pressing downward, making progress. A jolt of fear shot through Oswald as the baby’s head began to move.

 

“C-can’t you WAIT?!” Oswald whined down at his belly as he strained. “Y-your father is on the way, p-please, c-can’t you just-- wait for him!!” However, the baby didn’t seem to be in a listening mood, instead continuing to move further down the birth canal. This baby was coming, and it was coming FAST.

 

Before long, Oswald could feel his perineum beginning to bulge with the pressure of the baby’s head against it. He let out a wail as it began to crown, the stinging, burning sensation making him grit his teeth and wrench his face up in anguish as he bore down against his own will. He reached down with a quivering hand, tentatively petting the soft hair of the baby as its head slowly slid out of his body. Finally, after it hit its widest point, the baby’s head slipped all the way out, stopped only by its shoulders.

 

“O-oh! O-oh my god--!” Oswald cried out, looking down at the head now protruding from his nether regions. He carefully cradled it in his hands, knowing just how delicate the necks of babies could be. As the contraction that had brought the baby’s head forth faded, Oswald stared down at the babe, whimpering. It was truly an odd moment, considering that he was still too much in shock to fully accept that this was indeed his baby, that he was currently birthing a child in his goddamn office. But he still held the head with extreme caution and care, not wanting to harm the child.

 

The next contraction was arguably the worst of them all as his body strained to bring forth the shoulders of the child. Oswald pressed down on the sides of his poor battered opening to try and coax enough of them out that he could grab the child under the arms and pull it out the rest of the way. Finally, after pushing so hard that he felt like he was going to faint, Oswald was able to grab the baby’s underarms, easing the shoulders out one at a time before the baby slid the rest of the way out into his waiting hands.

 

Oswald stared down at the newborn, eyes wide in shock. What was he supposed to do…?! He did vaguely remember something he’d read or seen mentioning that babies needed stimulation to come to after being born, so after sucking the fluid from the baby’s nose (quite a disgusting action, he had to say) and clearing its mouth, Oswald began to rub the baby all over, desperately trying to get it to start moving. Finally, the baby opened its mouth and let out a shrill cry, squirming, and Oswald sobbed in relief. Thank God, the little one was fine.

 

Still quite shaky, Oswald limped to his desk, baby nestled in his arms, and grabbed a pair of scissors and some string. After making he way back to the couch, he then tied off the umbilical cord a few inches from the baby’s belly, tying it off in two places to make sure both ends were stopped from bleeding, then snipped the cord. Finally, the surprise baby was both delivered and situated. Except…

 

Realized that the babe was still completely exposed, Oswald shrugged off the jacket he’d forgotten he was still wearing, wrapping the newborn in it carefully. “T-there you go… how’s that, little one…?” Oswald looked down at the infant skeptically, and the infant finally settled down and yawned, exhausted from being born and subsequently screaming its lungs out. “There we go… there’s a good baby.”

 

After Oswald passed the placenta, which he quickly put in a fresh garbage bag in order to distance himself from it, he shakily cleaned himself off the best he could with a spare towel he kept in a cabinet in case of emergency. He then laid the towel out on his desk chair, sitting down with the babe in his arms. He didn’t much care to return to the fluid-soaked couch, thank you very much. He gently rocked in the chair, looking down at the babe with a tentative smile. He still hadn’t completely wrapped his head around the idea that he was now a parent, but he did have to admit that the little one was cute, its button nose quite reminiscent of pictures Oswald had seen of Edward as an infant.

 

“Welcome to the world, I suppose, little one…” Oswald murmured, gently stroking the babe’s soft dark brown hair. He kissed the babe’s forehead, and in response, the little one yawned again, blinking sleepy eyes up at Oswald before closing its eyes again, seeming to nuzzle into the jacket that was serving as a makeshift baby blanket. Oswald, entranced by the baby’s own sleepiness, let his eyes fall closed as he tried to relax himself after all he’d been through.

 

However, Oswald’s rest didn’t last more than five or so minutes before he heard the door being unlocked. Knowing that Ed was the only one with a key aside from the manager, who was off duty that night, Oswald sighed in relief, tears pricking at his eyes once more. Finally, his love had shown up.

 

As Ed opened the door, he looked around wildly, not sure what he’d find. When he saw the couch covered in some sort of fluid and blood, he paled, heart racing. He looked over to Oswald’s desk, jaw falling open as he saw Oswald sitting there, pantsless and holding a newborn baby who was clearly not even an hour old. From his seat in the office chair, Oswald gave Ed an apologetic smile, waving nervously to him.

 

“Oswald…?! Is that-- t-that’s a BABY!!” Ed exclaimed, looking as pale as a sheet. He glanced down at Oswald’s bloodstained inner thighs, looked up at his untamed and sweaty hair, then back at the baby, feeling faint. He knelt down beside the chair to keep himself from collapsing to the floor like a marionette with its strings cut.

 

“...yes, it is. How astute of you to notice,” Oswald huffed, readjusting the babe in his arms. “I told you that you wouldn’t believe me… You had to see it for yourself to truly understand.”

 

“And… that’s really yours…?” Ed spoke incredulously, brow furrowed in disbelief.

 

Oswald practically growled, becoming quite frustrated with Ed. Patience wearing thin, he snapped, “I’m not playing a GAME, Edward!!”

 

[[original image]](http://askoswaldandedward.tumblr.com/post/166088109686/scenario-papa-bird-winds-up-pregnant-with-eds)

 

Ed bit his lip, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “S-sorry, sorry…! It’s just-- I thought you said--”

 

Oswald sighed, looking away. “I thought what I said was true. That it wasn’t possible. But here we are, and here it is.” He shook his head, lip quivering as tears once again threatened to spill over. “I d-didn’t even know until my water broke, Eddie… I d-didn’t even know--!! I-- I drank during the pregnancy, I didn’t take any vitamins, I even smoked a cigar or two!! If I had only known…!!”

 

“Os…” Ed gave Oswald a gentle smile, trying to soothe his lover while still inwardly freaking out himself. “Look, there’s no way to change what happened. But look on the bright side! It’s here, it looks healthy, it’s breathing on its own and all that… things turned out pretty ok, it looks like. Your baby’s just fine.”

 

Oswald slowly nodded, taking a breath to calm himself. Ed was right. The baby was here, it appeared healthy, and that’s all that anyone could ask. He frowned slightly, looking over at his young love again. “It does look that way… but I do want to get it to a doctor. Just to be sure.”

 

Ed nodded in agreement, pulling his phone from his pocket. “You too, Ozzie. Your body’s been through the wringer! You need to have a doctor look you over and make sure you’re gonna be ok too.” With that he phoned for an ambulance, wanting to get his love and the newborn medical attention as soon as possible.

 

When the ambulance arrived, the workers helped Oswald into a wheelchair, putting a blanket over his lap for modesty. When Dove saw her boss being wheeled out of his office with a newborn baby in his arms, she gasped sharply, running over as fast as she could in her heels.

 

“Oswald-- I mean, Mr. Cobblepot-- what HAPPENED?!” Dove exclaimed, putting a hand on his shoulder worriedly. “What-- where did this baby come from?!”

 

Oswald gave Dove an apologetic smile, putting a hand on hers gently. “Well, my dear… I, ah… it turns out that it was more than just an upset stomach. It was, well… labor. With a baby I didn’t know I was carrying.”

 

Dove paled, looking absolutely distraught. “Oh, sir…! I knew I should've insisted on staying, I could've called an ambulance sooner--!!”

 

“Oh, dear girl… it's nothing you did wrong,” Oswald reassured her quickly, squeezing her hand. “I was stubborn, I didn’t want you to have to see me weak. But then, things progressed, and…” He gestured to the newborn in his arms with a soft chuckle. “I should’ve just listened to you, my songbird.”

 

Dove sighed softly, shaking her head fondly. “Well… I’m glad that everything’s alright, sir… when can I come and visit you and the little one?”

 

Oswald couldn’t help but chuckle, smiling warmly at Dove. “How about in the morning, my sweet? Go home, get some rest, and you can visit when you’re up to it tomorrow.” As he was loaded into the ambulance, he waved to Dove with the arm not cradling the newborn.

 

Once they arrived at the hospital, the newborn was thoroughly looked over, as was Oswald. Luckily, despite the situation at hand, things were looking good for both father and child. The little one, who turned out to be a girl, although a bit on the small side, was strong and resilient. When the nurses had instructed Oswald on how to breastfeed her (possible due to his lack of top surgery), she had been quick to learn, latching on properly without too much persuasion. It calmed Oswald’s nerves significantly to know that the baby was already thriving despite the pregnancy going unnoticed.

 

Throughout it all, even into the next morning, Edward had seemed a bit off, to say the very least. From calling the baby Oswald’s rather than saying it was both of theirs to seeming to avert from holding or even acknowledging her, he truly seemed to be having a hard time accepting the fact that he now had a daughter. Oswald supposed he couldn’t blame him, seeing as this had all been so sudden… but it left him feeling incredibly alone in it all. He would’ve loved for a bit of respite, but skin to skin contact was key in these first hours of the baby’s life, and additionally, Edward seemed in no way inclined to take over for him. Oswald instead had to keep the baby tucked inside his robe, which Ed had graciously fetched for him, without Ed ever offering to take her for a few moments so that Oswald could have a break.

 

After Oswald had fed the little one for what seemed to be the umpteenth time that morning, he looked over to Edward with weary eyes, trying to give him a hint. However, Ed only quirked an eyebrow, the subtlety seeming to go right over his head. The younger man paused, putting a bookmark in the book he’d been reading.

 

“So…” Ed began awkwardly, clearing his throat. “The baby still doesn’t have a name. Are you gonna name her…? She’s your kid, after all.”

 

Oh, that was the LAST STRAW. Oswald stood up, ignoring his aching body, and glared down at Edward with fire in his eyes. “Edward, I am sick and TIRED of you acting this way!”

 

“What way?!” Ed demanded defensively, standing up and glaring at Oswald. “I’m just trying to support you! It-- she DOES need a name! Do you want me to not bring that up? What is it you’re upset about?!”

 

Tears burned at Oswald’s eyes, and he hissed at Edward, pure fire in his gaze as he began to raise his voice. “Ever since you came to the office after she was born, you’ve been saying that the baby’s MINE! But newsflash, kid; this baby has TWO parents!! I didn’t create this thing all on my own, you know!! She’s not just mine, she’s YOURS too!!” He was now red-faced and huffing, overcome with his frustration toward his young lover.

 

Edward paused, looking quite taken aback. He looked down at Oswald with wide eyes, gulping as he tried to process what Oswald had just said, throat thick with emotion. Of course, it only made logical sense that the baby was his-- he and Oswald had been together for a while now, and Ed would’ve been quite upset if Oswald had been seeing anyone else, let alone if he had conceived a child with them. But for some reason, it just hadn’t clicked in his mind… the shock of his lover suddenly giving birth had caused Ed’s mind to try and distance him from the situation until Oswald had slapped him in the face with reality.

 

“I-it… she… s-she’s m-mine…?” Ed inquired weakly, tears burning at his eyes, knees feeling a bit weak.

 

Oswald sighed, nodding and giving Ed a weary smile. “Yes, Edward… she’s yours. Ours, to be exact.”

 

Ed took a deep breath, nodding slightly. He reached out with tentative arms, carefully taking the infant from Oswald and picking her up, careful to support her head, before slowly bringing her to his chest. Once she was situated, the proverbial waterworks began, hot tears rolling down Ed’s cheeks one after another as he openly sobbed, holding the baby close.

 

“I-I have a daughter…!!” Ed wept, voice hitching with emotion as he stroked the babe’s soft auburn hair. “I-I have a little girl…! O-oh my god!!” He pressed his trembling lips to the baby’s soft skin before continue to babble on, “I-I’ll be a good father-- I swear! I love you!! I love you so much!! A-and your other dad too! M-my family…!!”

 

[[original image]](http://askoswaldandedward.tumblr.com/post/166122073586/with-papa-bird-and-eds-baby-os-has-to-remind-ed)

 

Oswald smiled up at Ed in relief, so very glad to see that Ed had finally embraced their daughter as his child. He had been afraid that Ed wouldn’t ever accept her, but… apparently, all it took was a harsh dose of reality for him to understand.

 

After a minute or so of Ed blubbering over their daughter, Oswald heard a knock at the door. He looked over to see Dove-- no, she was Carolyn outside of working hours-- at the door. He went over and opened the door, giving her a warm smile.

 

“Carolyn! How nice of you to drop by! Do come in!” Oswald greeted her, eyes sparkling with delight as he ushered the young woman inside the room.

 

“I do hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Carolyn giggled as she looked over to see Ed weeping over the baby. Ed’s cheeks lit up a vivid red, and he wiped his eyes, trying to make himself seem more presentable. Carolyn laughed good-naturedly. “Oh, don’t worry yourself over it, Mr. Nygma. I was only teasing!”

 

“You’re not interrupting at all,” Oswald reassured Carolyn with a chuckle. “Ed, this is Carolyn. She works for me at the Lounge, though you might not recognize her out of uniform.”

 

Ed nodded respectfully at Carolyn, still trying to regain himself. “Pleasure to meet you in a more casual environment.”

 

Carolyn smiled, pinching Ed’s cheek playfully. “Aww… where on earth did you score such a cutie, Mr. Cobblepot?” She smirked as Ed flushed indignantly. “He’s adorable!”

 

Oswald couldn’t help but laugh, nodding. “He is, isn’t he? I got quite lucky with my Eddie. I’m afraid I’m not willing to share, though… I hope you don’t mind, dear girl.”

 

“Of course not,” Carolyn chuckled, then looked over at Oswald. “Y’know, Mr. Cobblepot… it just occured to me that you REALLY should be laying down. You don’t need to be up and around so soon after having a baby!”

 

Now it was Oswald’s turn to blush. “Just Oswald outside of work is fine, Carolyn. And I assure you, I’m fine, I just--”

 

“Nuh-uh-uh!!” Carolyn hushed Oswald, guiding him back to the hospital bed. “You need to be resting! You literally pushed an entire new human being out of your hoo-hah last night; I think you need the rest!!”

 

“Well, when you put it like that,” Oswald laughed, allowing Carolyn to help him into bed. “Thank you, my dear… you have helped me with so much…”

 

“Anything for my favorite boss!” Carolyn winked, patting Oswald on the shoulder. “Now… are you gonna introduce me to that sweet little baby of yours, or what?”

 

Getting the hint, Ed walked over with the baby, smiling somewhat nervously. He almost didn’t want to give her up, but knew that he’d be able to take her right back once Carolyn was done. “Carolyn, say hello to baby Cobblepot-Nygma…” He carefully handed Carolyn the newborn, fretting and making sure she held her properly.

 

“Oh my goodness…! Hi, sweet thing!” Carolyn gasped, light dancing in her eyes as she held the little one in her arms. “Oh my gosh, look at you, precious! Auntie Carolyn’s gonna spoil you sooo bad!” She paused, putting a bag she had carried in on the bed and rummaging through it with the arm not supporting the baby. “In fact… I already have!!” She pulled out a few gift bags, putting them within Oswald’s reach. “Go on, new mama… open them up!!”

 

“Oh, Carolyn, you really didn’t have to do this…” Oswald protested, but smiled warmly and opened the gifts anyway. Inside were a few onesies (one purple, one green, and one penguin-patterned), a little cuddly hooded outfit that looked like a penguin, a pacifier with a little stuffed penguin attached, a little green blanket, and a little blankie with a stuffed penguin on it.

 

“Sorry, they didn’t really have any baby stuff with question marks on it,” Carolyn laughed, winking at Ed.

 

“Oh my goodness…” Oswald looked over the gifts, tears welling up in his eyes. “Oh, Carolyn, you really didn’t have to go through all this trouble…”

 

“I know I didn’t HAVE to… I did it because I WANTED to!” Carolyn insisted, grinning at Oswald. “This little cutie is totally worth it!” She booped the infant’s button nose, face lighting up as the little one sleepily gurgled in response.

 

After a while, Carolyn bid the new family adieu, insisting that they needed the time to themselves. Although Oswald was sad to see her go, he did appreciate now being able to relax again, with the baby safe in his Eddie’s arms so he didn’t have to worry about her. He was still absolutely exhausted from all he had been through, and having a chance to finally get the rest he needed was most welcome.

 

As Oswald settled back into bed, feeling his eyelids becoming heavy once more, Ed spoke up from his spot in the chair beside Oswald's bed. “Hey, Os…? I think I might’ve figured out a name for her.”

 

“Oh…?” Oswald yawned, then propped himself up to look at Edward with a curious look in his eyes. “And what might that be, my dear…?

 

“Well… Dove is the stage name of your friend Carolyn. And she was the one to try and help you,” Ed began. “Doves are white. And so are lillies. So… perhaps her name can be Lillian? Lily for short?” He paused, caressing the babe’s ruddy cheek fondly. “And I know how close you and your mother were, so her middle name could be Gertrud?”

 

Oswald paused, chuckling softly. “Oh, but Gertrud is such an old lady’s name… What about Esther? I was always rather fond of that name…”

 

“Lillian Esther Cobblepot-Nygma… it’s got a nice ring to it!” Ed grinned, leaning over to kiss his older lover tenderly. “Now, riddle me this, Mr. Cobblepot… what causes one plus one to equal three?”

 

Oswald smiled good-naturedly, tilting his head at his young love’s riddle. “I don’t know, Eddie. What?”

 

Ed couldn’t help but laugh softly as he looked down at his new daughter, gently poking her little nose as he responded, “Our family.”


End file.
